To life!

Keep your hands off my teeth!

Posted on: May 12, 2010

The other day, I saw this woman interviewed on TV because of her addiction to plastic surgery. She said things like, “I got my nose corrected”. By this, she meant her nose had been whittled to a pencil shape. She had added fat to her lips, raised her brows, padded her chin, her buttocks, her breasts, liposuctioned her stomach, etc, etc, etc! Really!

First of all, if you’re a woman who has plenty of money for plastic surgery, I beg you, send me the money. When you’ve done that, I’ll use a portion to send you to Ghana. Or Sudan. Or Nigeria. Or anywhere in the world when men will love your big buttocks, arms, legs, everything.

While we’re on the subject, I really resent those people who reach out to my front teeth, the gap between, that is. Hello? I’ll have you know that in West Africa, a gap in the front teeth is a sign of fertility and mark of beauty. That’s right. Go to Senegal and you’ll find professional tooth-carvers who will whittle away your two prime incisors to create a gap for you, for a small fee. People have always had an itch to touch my teeth, from African men who gasp and say “Your teeth are so beautiful” to the Latino lady at Whole Foods who shakes her head and say “It’s bad luck in my country; you’ll be poor”, and the lovely friend who shakes her head and says “You’d be so beautiful if it weren’t for the gap in your teeth.”

I hereby declare: my teeth are beautiful the way God made them. Hey, they’re so beautiful Madonna got one just to be like me! And They do their job well; I eat just fine.  So, for heaven’s sake, keep your fingers off my teeth!


6 Responses to "Keep your hands off my teeth!"

I have the same problem, people are constantly commenting on the gap in my teeth!!

Thanks for visiting. Hope you’re proud of your teeth 🙂

A dentist told me that in her country, that gap is a sign of good luck. Not sure if she’s from India or Pakistan. Hard to believe someone would be so insensitive as to say you’re beautiful, except for the gap. I think mine has gotten wider over the years. People think it’s cute, but I have my reservations. 😦

i know what you mean! Mine is wider with age and it is sometimes embarrassing when a tiny particle of food flies out as I’m trying to charm someone, but I guess it hasn’t been detrimental after all 😆

I also have a gap between my two front teeth.

In university I took a course on Chaucer and the Wife of Bath’s tale describes Allison, who has a gap-toothed smile as well which in Chaucer’s time meant that a woman is amorous.

The prof looked right at me winked as he was explaining this to the class.! It was a little embarrassing but funny.

I get comments about how I would be prettier without it – but I don’t mind it so much anymore.

Oh yes, the Wife of Bath, I remember her. Guess what, in some Latin American countries, it’s actually a sign of good luck! You’re beautiful. Having the gap has never stopped wonderful men from pursuing me :).

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