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Why No Person Will Find Love on the Bachelor

Posted on: July 22, 2010

When the show started way back when, it held promises and I for one was entranced. (I really should know better!) It’s been splitsville since then. Well, there are two exceptions, Trista, and that single parent guy who chose one girl, broke up with her and married the runner up. Hopefully they’ll all live happily ever after. But take this latest episode for instance. We have Ali  planning dates all over the world. She laughs, tosses her blonde mane and gurgles out brilliant thoughts like Hahaha, I think Iceland is a great place to fall in love. Tahiti is a great place to fall in love.  Sniff, sniff, I was really looking forward to falling in love with  him.

Come on!

Anyone with any sense at all knows that if you’re hanging at the edge of a crater from a helicopter or freezing in an Icelandic cave, you’re bound to feel lovey dovey with any man gazing at you and telling you how perfect you are. I mean really! You kiss man after man, (or woman after woman), get all hot and bothered, can’t wait to spend one-on-one time with Roberto, Ty and Justin—oops, he has a girl-friend after all. You get all mad and chase Justin for a confrontation, but the coward drags his limping leg over a wall and disappears. And now, this latest break up.

Frankie dances in and out with his emotions, but Ali doesn’t get it. Plus, who can blame him? He thinks she’s his girl but sees her making out with others. Same thing with a bachelor, the girls have to compete and I can’t think of anything more distasteful than that.

Okay, so finally Frank goes back to Nicole to see if they still have it. He wants the girl who has loved him all along—who is way too quick to take him back. Then he trots off to Tahiti and begs host to tell him what to do, boo hoo hoo.

Meanwhile, Ali has undressed Roberto and run her hands all over that hairy torso. I’m convinced she’s in love with him, hear, hear.  But in the next scene she’s all over Chris and they draw the curtains to the room, so I’m all confused. I think she’s in love with him too. (Please tell me she didn’t sleep with either of them.)  But when Frank drops the bombshell about Nicole, Ali boo hooo hoos most dramatically, tears off the flower from her hair, flings it down and says, “I gave up everything to be here!” Duh, he gave up everything too. And how do you get broken-hearted when you so love two others?

When you think about it, the bachelor or bachelorette is always selfish. Has to be. He or she is there to shop and feels it’s perfectly fine to sample the goods. The good-bodies can’t help feeling powerless. Talk about being objectified. This has to lead to latent rage. After the show has been taped and the engagement is on, the couple gets to watch. The chosen one watches his or her beloved declare how much said beloved really likes such and such a person, watches make out scenes he or she wasn’t privy to. How can doubt not creep in? How can he/she not get mad? Add to that the trove of ex-lovers popping out to cry “He was still writing to me all along. He promised me forever!”.   What a marriage made in hell. I mean, really!

Someone, please cancel that farce.

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3 Responses to "Why No Person Will Find Love on the Bachelor"

I’ve heard a lot of those scenes were staged, the more reason not to watch.

Why am I not surprised? I’ve had similar responses posted on my writers’ site. Thanks for the visit 🙂

VPJ and Gorakhnath, very well said.If Id made a film like Manjha and if in some roundabout way, it saves even one child from sexual abuse, Id happily take a million keyboard criticisms.

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